As usual, I’m here to chat about the changes going from the original version to the new spiffy Orbit versions. Remember, these are intended for those who have already read the previously self-published versions. I’m trying to detail all that’s new, so that if you’re trying to make up your mind whether or not you wish to read the new ones, this will help you out. And if you don’t, well, you’ll know all that was changed so you’re not in the dark come A Dance of Ghosts.
Now, onto the absolute biggest change: it’s called A Dance of Mirrors now. Yes. I still get asked this question.
Onto a bit more important stuff. This one was a bit trickier to work with. It didn’t have as many changes as Cloaks, yet was definitely more flawed than Blades. Again, ignoring all the basic editing, sentence tweaking, etc, going to try to stick to just the plotline changes.
The intro chapter with Haern I toned down a little bit. Too much melodrama snuck in, and for that, I was slapped on the wrist. Also, I revealed that the shoes Brug made for Haern make his footsteps quieter. Nothing major, but I did have people asking about that, so, there we go. Mystery solved. Also in the first chapter, I added a scene with Delysia saying goodbye to Haern. Seemed odd not to have her do so prior, especially with the relationship they were forming in Blades.
One of the larger cuts: the subplot with Egar (now renamed Edgar, because I hated the name pretty quickly upon returning to the book) and Yorr…yeah. I failed pretty badly at setting up any sort of mystery with them. So instead I removed completely any and all set up for the eventual betrayal, instead having Egar killing Yorr come as a surprise, though he still uses the same argument to explain why (the lie that Yorr was in the Merchant Lords’ pocket).
Wrote out a scene only hinted at, that of Haern torturing information out of a mercenary to discover that the Merchant Lords are pulling out all their ships in preparation for the elves’ attack on the city. Makes things flow better that way.
All this stuff is pretty minor, though. It’s the ending I changed pretty thoroughly, and it actually does have some implications on the later series. First up: Haern’s final meeting with Warrick Sun, newly in charge of Angelport. Before I had it seem as if Haern were thoroughly defeated, and I just don’t know why. In this new one, I have Warrick explain why the Violet was only part of a larger plan. Haern threatens to kill him should Warrick move to cause war (which Warrick insists he’ll never do). The scene ends with Haern revealing that he’s stolen the document Alyssa was forced to sign, dissolving the Trifect, and then burns the document right in front of Warrick.
The epilogue in particular I significantly rewrote. For starters, Torgar doesn’t die in the same exact way. Instead he’s in charge, frustrated with it yet still enjoying the power. He goes to a secret meeting with Stern Blackwater. Stern basically orders Torgar to give up all control of the Keenan wealth to him, since he is little Tori’s grandfather and has far more biological claim than Torgar (who has, well, none). Torgar, being Torgar, says screw you.
And THEN Dieredon shows up and shoots him with an arrow. But the big change is that now Stern is effectively a new Lord of the Trifect, ruling while Tori grows up. This also establishes why the Merchant Lords stop causing problems down in Angelport instead of continuing their attempt to crush them. With Stern one of their own, and down in Angelport, the Merchant Lords effectively have free reign to do what they want, and they’re very much enjoying it.
Last, the conversation between Haern and Delysia. It’s too much really to detail, but while the sentiment at the end, with Delysia supporting Haern no matter what, all remains the same, much of it is changed to more accurate reflect the events of the book instead of this weird pseudo-dark depressing ending I was trying to force in for stupid reasons. I’m quite fond of it, honestly.
And that’s it. Stuff’s new in there, but nothing too drastic, with most of the new scenes fairly quick and short. It’s the ending that really got overhauled.
Hope all this helps.
David
